Preparing for a Burial
Many burials happen within a few days of a passing; others may be a week, months, or even years after. But in spite of time or circumstances, emotionally preparing for that day may come with difficulties.
We use the term “burial” loosely and in lieu of “final resting place” or “disposition.” But regardless, it is an act of closure. “Closure?”! To some of us, this ceremony is just the beginning of living day to day facing the loss of companionship we will not regain. Or if it is after some time has passed, it may be a renewed act that reopens emotions that were attempted to be kept at bay.
It is an affirmation or denial of where we thought we were in our grieving process – a very personal grieving process.
In many cultures and religions, burials occur within 24 hours of a death. In others, there is more time to process the feelings, thoughts and emotions. Most importantly, consider it YOUR day. As much as it is a day to remember he or she who has passed, allow yourself permission to make it your day to feel, think, and process. It is OK to be sad; or not sad. It is OK to be nostalgic, fearful of a future that includes change or concerned about others. But it is also OK to feel relieved of a situation that was challenging, or at peace with the understanding that physical pain no longer exists, or uneasy about the emotions that “a new normal” may bring.
Take time for solace, and allow yourself permission to simply feel what today is natural.